Baby showers should be a joyous occasion, but sadly, many mamas leave their baby showers feeling less than excited about having a baby. Let’s change that!
When one of my favorite blogging mamas Leah Martin, from My Little Robins, asked if I would like to take part in a virtual baby shower I was delighted. What a fun way to honor our fellow blogging mamas from Grow Family Love, Intentional in Life, and Jules and Co. All of whom are expecting or have recently had a baby. Be sure to check out more great posts below.
Part of my excitement comes from the fact that my daughter is turning two years old this month.
How did that happen!?! This has made me nostalgic for the baby days. I began to reminisce about happy memories, like my baby shower.
Honestly, my baby shower was perfect! It was beautiful, relaxing and full of joy. I have nothing but happy memories.
But lets be real, not all baby showers end up being a joyous occasions. I began to wonder how common baby shower faux pas were. After asking some fellow mamas on Facebook about their experiences, it turns out they are very common! I would love to hear your story.
So, I decided to share 15 things that you should NOT do at a baby shower. Won’t you help me spread the word, every mama deserves to have a happy baby shower experience!
These first tips are for the lovely hostesses. Remember, this event is about what the mom-to-be wants.
1. Do not forget to go over the menu with the mom-to-be.
Be sure to check for food allergies or food aversions. Pregnancy can cause all sorts of diet issues. The last thing you want is for the mom-to-be to have to watch everyone else enjoy food that she can’t have.
2. Do not let the mom-to-be do any work!
I feel like this should go with out saying, but one of the ladies who shared mentioned that she was the one serving food and drinks to her guests during her baby shower. By the time her shower was finished she was exhausted. Mom-to-be should be treated like a queen during her baby shower, enough said!
3. Do not play the measure the belly game.
This of course is up to the mom-to-be. Some people enjoy this game but I have talked to many mamas to be as well as baby shower guests that feel like this game is rather awkward. Especially if the mom-to-be is feeling rather large and doesn’t need another reminder that her stomach is the size of a large watermelon.
4. Do not forget to pre-approve games with the mom-to-be.
Number four goes hand in hand with number three. Every mom is different. Some enjoy playing a lot of games and some moms would rather have none. Make sure you check in with mom-to-be. One of the things I really appreciated at my baby shower was that I was able to chose exactly what kind of activities were done.
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5. Do not forget to take pictures.
One sweet mama shared that she had a lovely baby shower, except for the fact that no one took any pictures. It might be wise to give someone the task of taking pictures. That way mom-to-be can just enjoy herself and the hostess can take one task off of her list.
If you would like a hands off option you can put your camera or a Go Pro on a tripod. Set it up on a time laps and you are bound to capture some great candid moments. If you do not want to have a tripod taking up space you could also use a Go Pro suction cup on the mirror or window.
6. Do not put plastic babies in the ice cubes.
Now some tips for the shower guests.
7. Do not forget to RSVP.
It is really hard for the hostess to properly plan an event if people do not let her know they are coming. And a maybe does not count. Have you ever tried to plan an event where you had 5 yes’s and 15 maybes? Not cool!
8. Do not forget to show up.
Now that you have RSVPed for the shower, do not forget to show up. One mom told the story of how some of her friends RSVPed yes to her shower but then forgot to attend. I know that life happens and things can change suddenly but be sure to let the hostess know so she can plan accordingly.
9. Do not forget to include a gift receipt.
It is always a good idea to include a gift receipt in case mom-to-be receives duplicates or mom-to-be wants to exchange an item for something else. This makes returns so much easier.
10. Do not forget to give clothing in different sizes.
I have heard from multiple mamas that their most useful clothing gifts where when they were given multiple sizes. One mama received almost all newborn size gifts. While they were extremely cute, they only fit her munchkin for a few days.
GIFT IDEA: Check out the clothing from SproutFit. It grows with your baby!
11. Do not forget to match the size with the season.
If you do happen to get outfits in multiple sizes remember the changing seasons. A few mamas shared that they received multiple summer outfits for their summer baby. The trouble is they were size 3-6 months and the weather had already begun to get cold by the time baby could fit into them. To play it safe you could purchase clothing staples that can be worn anytime of the year. Like onsies, you can never have enough onsies.
12. Do not get drunk.
This is a baby shower after all. I am all in favor of enjoying a delicious drink at a party but let’s keep it classy ladies.
13. Do not give gifts that mom-to-be doesn’t want.
Quite a few mamas told me that they were given gifts even after being very clear that they did not want them. For example, many of these moms-to-be had informed their guests that they would be doing cloth diapering. Instead of people giving them the cloth diapering items they requested, people gave them regular diapers and told them they were bound to change their minds once the baby came. Mom to be may very well change her mind in the future but that is up to HER and not you.
In my opinion, these last two don’ts are the biggest baby shower downers.
14. Do not tell your horror birth, postpartum or breast feeding stories!
15. Do not be a negative Nelly.
I hate being at a baby shower where you constantly hear about all things you can’t do once you have a baby. I am sure we have all heard them, “Eat while you can, can’t do that once the baby is here.” “Get your rest now, you won’t get much sleep once that baby comes.” You get the idea. Likewise, do not tell the mom-to-be the danger rating of all of the items in her house and the gifts she receives.
This should never happen.
I have had friends leave their baby showers not only scared of the possible outcomes of giving birth but also feeling like everything they own might injure their baby. And to top it off, their lives will be officially over once their baby is born.
Let’s make baby showers a place to share the joys of motherhood. I am sure that mom-to-be is well aware that there are going to be some huge life changes. How about we highlight the positives instead of the negatives.
If you would like to get more information about breastfeeding check out this breastfeeding roundup. If you are looking for information about natural childbirth be sure to read about my favorite natural childbirth resources.
Join the ShortSweetMom community and let’s get to know one another. I would love to hear your baby shower don’t.
Be sure to share your baby shower don’ts in the comments below.
Check out these other great posts in the baby shower link up.
Leah from My Little Robins: Are These Pregnancy Old Wives Tales Science or Fiction?
Julie from Jules and Co: Minimalist Essentials for the New Baby
Susan from The Glorious Mom Blog: Buy this not that: Baby Gear Edition
Meghna from Love, Life and the Little One: What a Postpartum Mother wants from her Partner/Husband
Melanie from Funny Thing Happened Today: 50 Things you Really Need for a New Baby – and 10 Things you don’t
Robin from Smashed Cereal- How to Save Money on Formula