Confessions of a tired mom, there are some things I miss

Motherhood.

It is beautiful, lovely, blessed, exciting and tiring! I am a mom and I am tired. The other night my husband asked me how I was doing. The truth, I was tired. But not just tired physically. Being physically tired seems to be the norm for moms. I was emotionally tired. My tank was running on empty and was in desperate need of a refill.

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Recently my munchkin has been going through a Wonder week. (If you have never read this book I highly recommend it! There is also a helpful app for your phone.) These developmental leaps are both extremely exciting and draining on me as a mom.

Confessions of a tired mom, there are some things I miss. There is no guilt in missing things from before you had kids. Nor should you feel guilty for taking care of you own physical and emotional needs.

What are some of the things I have been missing? Lets start with the obvious stuff.

Sleep

My munchkin has been fighting sleep like no ones business. This means mom and dad have also gotten less sleep. I keep telling her that someday she is going to love sleep. So far I don’t think she believes me.

Peeing alone

We recently bought a potty seat for the bathroom. She loves to sit on this seat and get off, and get on and well you get the idea. So I guess you could say we have started pre-potty training. This is another reason I am tired. Every time I go to the bathroom she insists that she needs to go too. Funny how you can miss something like going to the bathroom alone.

Taking my time while I eat

I am honestly pretty lucky because at least I get to eat my food. But I really miss taking my time while I eat. Enjoying my food and savoring it’s deliciousness. Now I try to eat quickly while my hands are free before the munchkin wants to sit in my lap and of course sample whats on my plate.

Going out

My husband and I used to go out to a lot of movies. Our favorite movie theater is both a theater and restaurant in one. I have not been there in forever! We also used to go out quite a bit. Going out for dinner, drinks and dancing with friends is such a blast! These days dinner out is typically early, gotta be home before bed time.

Having a schedule

It used to be nice to put something in the calendar and be able to attend an event on time. Now everything is contingent on how the munchkin is doing on that particular day.

Not having a schedule

Being able to do something fun on the fly is completely different. Again it all depends on how the little one is doing at the time.

Showering regularly

After having a munchkin I have learned to let go of my vanity. Showering is rare these days. The messy bun makes a regular appearance and wearing makeup is a rare occurrence. My husband is a dear and always watches the little one when I need him to, I usually just forget that I need a shower until I am going to bed and I have to chose between being clean or getting sleep. Sleep usually wins.

Time with friends

Recently we had some friends over to our house for dinner. We realized that it had been 6 months since we had invited friends, outside of family, over to our home. Luckily most of our friends have kiddos around our munchkins age and miss us as much as we miss them. We are working on purposefully seeing friends more often. If you follow my Instagram account you know about our weekly hikes. This is one of the ways we have been trying to get in quality time with friends.

Now lets go a little deeper.

Alone time

I am a pretty sanguine person and enjoy the company of others. But to be honest after having a little one I sometimes crave alone time. Time to collect my thoughts and quiet my body. I never realized how vital this was for my soul until now. I am working on making it a point to get in these quiet moments.

A good cry

Sometimes alone time and crying time go together. But other times they are in their own separate category. I don’t know about you but there are times when a good cry is not only needed, it is vital. Held up tension is not only hard on the body but also hard on our spirit. Until having a munchkin I never realized how nice it was to cry when ever I felt like it.

Romance

Before baby it was easy to do sporadic romantic things with my husband. Want to go on a date? Want to stay in bed all day? You know what I mean. Now we have to be very purposeful to make these romantic moments happen. This is something I want to work on because I miss these special times with my love.

Feeling beautiful

At times I feel like I am someone I do not know. Who is that slob in the mirror? Didn’t she wear that same outfit yesterday? When was the last time she showered? I am very thankful that I have a husband that reminds that I am beautiful. The other day we were driving in the car and he looked at me and said, “You look beautiful today.” That was something I needed to hear. My husband thinks I am beautiful, even with a messy bun, yesterdays outfit, no makeup.

Myself

That is right. There are days when I miss myself. It is easy to get lost in being a mom and a wife. To begin to forget about yourself. Remembering to shower, to eat, to exercise. As moms we can get so lost in caring for everything around us that we forget to care for ourselves. This is another thing I want to work on. Taking time for your mental and physical health benefits everyone around you. One of my goals recently has been to make sure I am taking care of my needs and it is harder than I expected.

I know that this season is short.

Someday my baby will be a young woman. I will sleep when I want, eat when I want, go out on the town when I want and I will miss my baby. Because of this I am doing my best to savor every moment I can with my sweet little Genevieve and see the bright side of things. I don’t want to be so focused on the things I can’t do that I miss out on all the amazing things that I am blessed to do. Yet, at the same time I want to be more purposeful in making sure my emotional and physical needs are met. 

There is no guilt in missing things from before you had kids. Nor should you feel guilty for taking care of you own physical and emotional needs. What is something that you miss since having kids? How are you going to purposefully care for your needs today?norfolk

35 comments: On Confessions of a tired mom, there are some things I miss

  • I miss so many things! But I also love the way things are now, so it’s evened out a bit 🙂

  • Ugh yes I miss a lot of these too… but I’m sure you agree – kids give your life such a richness you aren’t even aware you missed before!

  • haha I just posted this same topic yesterday http://www.theforeverteacher.com/top-ten-things-new-moms-miss/ Seems like we all have the same problems.

  • I totally miss sleep. And time to myself. Definitely get you here!

  • I miss talking to my husband over dinner! Now our conversations are usually interrupted by hangry children!

  • I definitely miss going to adult movies! I can’t remember the last time I saw something that wasn’t a cartoon. I also miss being able to sleep in!

    • I went to a movie theater one time this year and will go one more time for a Star Wars date with the hubby. It is fun to watch movies at home but there is something special about going to a movie theater.

  • This is all true. I can relate to each of these and my, how I miss certain ones. I think the one thing I miss most is the ability to just go. You decide to drive 5 hours to visit college friends you go. With a little one, no way. But the days will pass and I will long for these moments so I pray to remain content. Even though it is hard sometimes. Great post Mama!

    • Thank you Rhiannon. We used to do things like that on the fly as well. Even a trip to the store takes planning with a munchkin lol. And I so agree, someday we are going to miss all of these things.

  • Totally right there with ya, mama! I think even husbands can’t understand (he’s like, just shower!) because they’re not with the littles all day.

    • I agree. Our hubbies don’t fully understand all that is going on in a mama’s head that would cause her to forget to shower. Or to even have time to shower. But my hubby sure does try his best.

  • Ah yes the things you take for granted when you were childless! A hot meal, privacy..etc! But I know none of us Moms would have it any other way!

  • I miss so many of these, sleep is my number one thing I miss lol.

  • My 2 year old fights her sleep SO much and has been doing it since she was a baby. 🙁 So yeah, I don’t get much sleep.

  • Thank you for this. I often feel so bad about having these feelings and think it’s just me, but hearing that I’m not alone is very encouraging.

    • I think that there is so much pressure on moms to be and feel certain things. Have you seen Stepford Wives? The always happy mom and always happy wife is not reality. We are not robots and that is what makes each of us special and unique. We have feelings and sometimes they are negative and that is more than ok. The key is to allow ourselves to feel and process our emotions without letting those emotions take over and cause us to miss out on all of the beautiful parts of motherhood. You are not alone mama, we got this!

  • I really miss sleep. Also reading books. Watching seasons of HIMYM,Gilmore girls and so on. But then my that phase was filled with loneliness and angst n depression. So I am really thankful for my baby n husband. They make my life a looooot happier

  • I’m a literature nerd. I like reading in quiet spaces. Since the birth of my first born, I’ve had to become very creative to get my fix. I think we are all tired moms, in some form or fashion. However, I can tell you from experience that the season is short. 100% in agreement with you there 🙂

    • I agree with you Candace, we are all tired moms in one way or another. The sad things is when we feel guilty for being tired or wanting a little break. Mom’s are human and need to be allowed those human moments every now and then. As long as we don’t let those moments take over and miss out on the beautiful parts of this hard but short season of life.

  • I miss some of these things, too, but they’re SO worth giving up for the sweet reward of being a Mama! My oldest is 15 and driving! I feel like I’ve blinked and she’s grown up! With a new baby on the way, I’m reminded to savor all of the moments, not just the good ones. Hang in there, Mama! Blessings <3

  • I love this post and what you are saying here is so important. There are so many parts of motherhood that you just can’t fathom until you become a mum. I have a 2 and a 4 year old – I really miss personal space. My guys are constantly hanging off me and climbing on me, Even when I’m on the toilet the 2 y.o wants to sit on my lap. It can be a struggle. I think its important to own it and talk about so that we can accept that its ok for mums to feel like this and there isn’t something “wrong” with us.

    • I can totally relate to the kid on the lap while on the toilet! I 100% agree that we need to feel supported and know that these feelings are ok! We have to be able to address them and recharge so we don’t burn out. It benefits the entire family when mom is able to have a little alone time. Thank you so much for sharing and I am glad you know you are not alone.

  • This is so real! Showering…peeing..showering lol. This was an awesome list and reflection of my life lol

    • I think it is something that many mamas can relate to. The crazy thing is that we start to think we are the only one. But we are not alone. A little humor always helps, lol.

  • It really is tough to want to savor these special years, while also attending to your needs and wants and things that you miss. One of the most difficult aspects of life is creating balance, and as moms, it’s something we struggle with daily. Getting some time to get away and be alone – even if for a few hours every week is really important and something that most moms don’t do – but it’s tough to give from an empty tank. Take care of yourself, mama <3

    • Thank you for sharing Savannah. I completely agree that it is very hard to give from an empty tank. It is hard to get the alone time we need but also very important. The struggle is real, but we do not struggle alone.

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