It is beautiful, lovely, blessed, exciting and tiring! I am a mom and I am tired. The other night my husband asked me how I was doing. The truth, I was tired. But not just tired physically. Being physically tired seems to be the norm for moms. I was emotionally tired. My tank was running on empty and was in desperate need of a refill.
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Recently my munchkin has been going through a Wonder week. (If you have never read this book I highly recommend it! There is also a helpful app for your phone.) These developmental leaps are both extremely exciting and draining on me as a mom.
What are some of the things I have been missing? Lets start with the obvious stuff.
My munchkin has been fighting sleep like no ones business. This means mom and dad have also gotten less sleep. I keep telling her that someday she is going to love sleep. So far I don’t think she believes me.
We recently bought a potty seat for the bathroom. She loves to sit on this seat and get off, and get on and well you get the idea. So I guess you could say we have started pre-potty training. This is another reason I am tired. Every time I go to the bathroom she insists that she needs to go too. Funny how you can miss something like going to the bathroom alone.
Taking my time while I eat
I am honestly pretty lucky because at least I get to eat my food. But I really miss taking my time while I eat. Enjoying my food and savoring it’s deliciousness. Now I try to eat quickly while my hands are free before the munchkin wants to sit in my lap and of course sample whats on my plate.
My husband and I used to go out to a lot of movies. Our favorite movie theater is both a theater and restaurant in one. I have not been there in forever! We also used to go out quite a bit. Going out for dinner, drinks and dancing with friends is such a blast! These days dinner out is typically early, gotta be home before bed time.
Having a schedule
It used to be nice to put something in the calendar and be able to attend an event on time. Now everything is contingent on how the munchkin is doing on that particular day.
Not having a schedule
Being able to do something fun on the fly is completely different. Again it all depends on how the little one is doing at the time.
After having a munchkin I have learned to let go of my vanity. Showering is rare these days. The messy bun makes a regular appearance and wearing makeup is a rare occurrence. My husband is a dear and always watches the little one when I need him to, I usually just forget that I need a shower until I am going to bed and I have to chose between being clean or getting sleep. Sleep usually wins.
Time with friends
Recently we had some friends over to our house for dinner. We realized that it had been 6 months since we had invited friends, outside of family, over to our home. Luckily most of our friends have kiddos around our munchkins age and miss us as much as we miss them. We are working on purposefully seeing friends more often. If you follow my Instagram account you know about our weekly hikes. This is one of the ways we have been trying to get in quality time with friends.
Now lets go a little deeper.
I am a pretty sanguine person and enjoy the company of others. But to be honest after having a little one I sometimes crave alone time. Time to collect my thoughts and quiet my body. I never realized how vital this was for my soul until now. I am working on making it a point to get in these quiet moments.
A good cry
Sometimes alone time and crying time go together. But other times they are in their own separate category. I don’t know about you but there are times when a good cry is not only needed, it is vital. Held up tension is not only hard on the body but also hard on our spirit. Until having a munchkin I never realized how nice it was to cry when ever I felt like it.
Before baby it was easy to do sporadic romantic things with my husband. Want to go on a date? Want to stay in bed all day? You know what I mean. Now we have to be very purposeful to make these romantic moments happen. This is something I want to work on because I miss these special times with my love.
At times I feel like I am someone I do not know. Who is that slob in the mirror? Didn’t she wear that same outfit yesterday? When was the last time she showered? I am very thankful that I have a husband that reminds that I am beautiful. The other day we were driving in the car and he looked at me and said, “You look beautiful today.” That was something I needed to hear. My husband thinks I am beautiful, even with a messy bun, yesterdays outfit, no makeup.
That is right. There are days when I miss myself. It is easy to get lost in being a mom and a wife. To begin to forget about yourself. Remembering to shower, to eat, to exercise. As moms we can get so lost in caring for everything around us that we forget to care for ourselves. This is another thing I want to work on. Taking time for your mental and physical health benefits everyone around you. One of my goals recently has been to make sure I am taking care of my needs and it is harder than I expected.
I know that this season is short.
Someday my baby will be a young woman. I will sleep when I want, eat when I want, go out on the town when I want and I will miss my baby. Because of this I am doing my best to savor every moment I can with my sweet little Genevieve and see the bright side of things. I don’t want to be so focused on the things I can’t do that I miss out on all the amazing things that I am blessed to do. Yet, at the same time I want to be more purposeful in making sure my emotional and physical needs are met.